So I realize that lately my posts haven't been funny, and I think it's important to laugh. So I'm going to post some jokes just to make sure everyone who follows my blog (all 8 of you) will get a chance to smile. Enjoy!
A guy walks into a doctor's office and says, "Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green, Green Grass of Home.'"
The doctor hears this, thinks for a moment, then says, "Sounds like you have Tom Jones Syndrome."
"Is it common?"
"Well, it's not unusual."
I was in the restaurant yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperately needed to pass gas. The music was really, really loud, so I timed my gas with the beat of the music.
After a couple of songs, I started to feel better. I finished my coffee, and noticed that everybody was staring at me.
Then I suddenly remembered that I was listening to my iPod.
The CIA had an opening for an assassin. After all the background checks, interviews and testing were done there were three finalists: two men and a woman.
For the final test, the CIA agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a .45 revolver. "We must know that you will follow your instructions, no matter what the circumstances. Inside this room, you will find your wife sitting in a chair. Kill her!"
The man said, "You can't be serious. I could never shoot my wife." The agent said, "Then you're not the right man for this job."
The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about five minutes. Then the man came out with tears in his eyes. "I tried, but I can't kill my wife," the man said. "You don't have what it takes. Take your wife and go home."
Finally, it was the woman's turn. She was given the same instructions to kill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room. Six shots were heard, one shot after another. The agents heard screaming, crashing and banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the woman. She wiped the sweat from her brow, and said, "This gun is loaded with blanks. I had to beat him to death with the chair."
(okay, it's dark, but it's funny!)