Monday, January 2, 2012

Two Brains

Today. Today is a hard day. Today my son decided he would rather have a three hour time out in the laundry room (the only bedroom with a lock on the outside... This makes it the time out room), than go to school today. He came up with the three hours... I'm pretty sure he has no concept of what three hours means.

Here my brain is split in two. The part of my brain that has read parenting books and has slept at night and maybe even got up early and had some coffee, that part is telling me how to handle this in a mature way. Transitions are hard for him, it's saying. Mondays are hard. Have him draw a picture of a three hour time out, and then a picture of a day at school. Have him look at both and then discuss them together. Figure out a reward system for Monday mornings. Tell him you understand, that after the weekend you have a hard time getting back into a schedule too.

Then there's the other half of my brain. This half forgets most of what is has read and is ruled by hormones and emotions. This half hasn't slept in three days due to a teething baby. This half was awoken by said son with the most G-d awful sound of a five year old trying to play a violin. (It could easily be compared to fingernails on a blackboard.)

So guess which half of my brain chose this morning's itinerary?

Yeah, the louder half.

So what's happening right now? My son is experiencing a three hour time out. He gets bathroom breaks and food. I'm not abusive. But I honestly don't know how to tap into my higher self when I don't sleep, have three young, fussy children all demanding my attention, and no obvious support to turn to in these times.

I figure, I'm not yelling, screaming, hitting or hurting anyone. So in many ways I am being a mature parent. And I know that right now, in my state of mind, if I tried to engage with my son and he pulled any of his usual antics, I might not have the clarity to step away before it turns ugly. My threshold is extremely low right now.

So I guess my big question is this: even though I know there are better ways of handling things, if I choose a lesser path due to my compromised state, am I doing the wrong thing?
Really, I'm putting this out there.

What would you do?

And as an aside... He's not in there crying or arguing. I can hear him playing. So don't judge me too harshly.

And now for my goodlist... Which I apparently really need today.

1.Feeling really connected to an amazing group of women

2.Signing for the land on Thursday! (Holy €+*%!)

3.Mother-in-law bought me new, warm socks yesterday.

4.I have coffee now

5.Again, the beautiful women in my life.


  1. I think it's like labor. The birth plan goes out the window, and we do what we have to do to get the baby out. That's it. Sometimes you will make the choice that is most beneficial and feels good to you. Sometimes you will do what you have to do to ensure everyone is safe, sane and you get through the day. The most important part is to cut yourself a break. You do in one day what most people do in a month. Don't judge. Don't judge. Don't judge.
    Plus sounds like Shavti's having a grand old time and learning some self sufficiency and some good cause and effect. Enjoy the quiet. Love you.

  2. Dude, you're not yelling, screaming, smacking, and you are being wise enough to not engage. I think you get major points. And not only that, even though you don't have the energy to handle the situation in what is arguably the "better" way, you're at least contemplating what those actions might be, and raising your consciousness. And by raising your consciousness consistently, making the more difficult but "better" choices will only become easier. So, really, you're doing no harm to your child (and might even be doing him some good, as the other comment pointed out), and even engaging in self-growth. Rock on with your bad self! xoxo

  3. You are obviously a conscious parent, because if you weren't so conscious you wouldn't be experiencing such angst. Where are those perfect parenting people who wrote those perfect parenting books when you need them--they are sleeping! Give yourself a break, your kids are safe and sound and know you love them. Sometimes that's good enough.