tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1656622958566905843.post5436925835696900379..comments2014-07-15T08:40:28.411-07:00Comments on The Good List: Making mistakestovahkind.facebook.comhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15176007960070702234noreply@blogger.comBlogger6125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1656622958566905843.post-73851956141790445472012-07-15T06:10:34.894-07:002012-07-15T06:10:34.894-07:00Tovah,
I do love you, along with your many friend...Tovah, <br />I do love you, along with your many friends.<br />Yes, take a shower. Forget the people in a 10 mile radius. Do it for yourself. I just feel more capable when I'm freshly showered.<br /><br />Second, may I suggest (not tell you what you should do at all) looking into the Five Languages of Love for Children. I think I have a copy but I'm not at home so can't send it.<br /><br />One of the most remarkable ah moments is when one (I, you, any soul) realizes that each person has his/her own menu of what love looks like and feels like. And when we heap love on that person from our menu of what love (should) feel like, look like . . . it doesn't get received as love!<br />Amazing. Here I am loving these people to pieces but oh, gee, it's not in their language.<br /><br />So, just consider that concerning your son.<br /><br />You should have expectations. He is needing you to. But, you need to get really clear about what they are. What is essential. And then have a little pow wow with him, preferably in a setting of his language of love and say these (3?) things are things I expect of you. Other 10,0000 things are not the most essential and so we're going to put them aside for now.<br /><br />It might be interesting to hear his 3 essential expectations of you.<br /><br />And if brushing teeth is one, (cavities cost a lot of money and are not fun) give him the freedom to choose when. Then let him check it off on a chart so there doesn't have to be reminders (nagging) and he feels some responsibility and control of his own choices.<br />Don't you feel good about doing something that has to be done but you don't want to and yet you know you should???<br /><br />Hey this might work for a day or a week or never. But as moms we are entrusted with the job of being creative and never giving up. And that is a pretty tall order.<br />This is one of the reasons you should take a shower. It's for you.<br /><br />He will teach you more about yourself than perhaps any of your other children.<br />You may not have the relationship you dream of until he is much, much older.<br />Love is messy and not always easy and usually not balanced and all those things magazine articles say it is.<br /><br />You don't have to be perfect, or even near. Neither does he.<br /><br />Find something to laugh about together. That is oh, oh, oh, so healing.<br /><br />Love to you and your precious ones.<br />And thanks for having the spirit and honesty and humor that is so REAL that it amazes and inspires me, and others.<br /><br />Love,<br />MiriamAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1656622958566905843.post-33675429218733289212012-07-08T03:51:20.718-07:002012-07-08T03:51:20.718-07:00Yes! Come visit! Oh, my heart fills at the thought...Yes! Come visit! Oh, my heart fills at the thought. And Micah will be up here as soon as the house sells. G-d willing sooner than later!tovahkind.facebook.comhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15176007960070702234noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1656622958566905843.post-43804848849897483652012-07-06T10:55:44.435-07:002012-07-06T10:55:44.435-07:00I love you too Tovah. I won't go ahead and ad...I love you too Tovah. I won't go ahead and add my mistakes. If I felt brave enough to do that then I could start my own blog. But for now just know that I'm here with you too, in spirit, in parenting, and in many other things. Maybe our family could come visit and stay with you on the farm. Then maybe we could stay up talking after the kids go to sleep... By the way, when will Micah join you guys? Hugs and kisses. ~RachelliRachelli Sacksnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1656622958566905843.post-73361110155781723152012-07-06T07:01:53.681-07:002012-07-06T07:01:53.681-07:00I'm so proud of you Tov, but mostly for taking...I'm so proud of you Tov, but mostly for taking a shower. Lord knows you need it! Love you like crazy! xoxo - Eli StinkyAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1656622958566905843.post-75450143939532997232012-07-05T21:41:24.021-07:002012-07-05T21:41:24.021-07:00wow. i've really been thinking about the memor...wow. i've really been thinking about the memories and self image i am helping create for my little angel/devil as well. it's so so hard to let the annoyances, defiance, fights, complaints and other shitty behavior just happen with unconditional love. i meet them with anger and frustration. yuck. i don't have an answer for how to skillfully navigate the unreasonable behavior but i have the same history of mistakes and words i wished i'd left unspoken. i love you tov. i'm with you.Stinky #1noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1656622958566905843.post-61641256788873325142012-07-05T19:21:04.115-07:002012-07-05T19:21:04.115-07:00Im crying tovah...once again you speak the deep da...Im crying tovah...once again you speak the deep dark truths and its so beautiful! Your children are lucky to have you as their mom, your hubby is lucky to have u as his wife and your mom is so lucky to have you as her daughter...and I am so lucky to have you as a friend. Tovah all we can do is our best in life...we do what we feel is right and we let God do the rest! Hugs!! Your awesome and beautiful and wonderful and perfect in your way!!!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06085060922708957074noreply@blogger.com